Holy Jalapeno!

Well....... where do I begin the story of trying to kill myself with a medium size jalapeno today!

No kiddin! There I was, the happy homemaker in the kitchen, making my Salsa, singing away, I yai yai ayaiiiiiiiiiiiiii   THE corn and black bean salsa, I love that stuff, gettin pretty good at it too (now pattin myself on the back, literally, cause I'm still all choked up) and jeeze I cut that thing open, apparently there are fumes in it??? like a darn onion only worse!  Noone told me! Gee thanks guys!

I DON'T KNOW BUT, I started to choke! and choke, and I couldn't breathe!  Stay calm! a huh!

What do you do, throw yourself out on the patio? Drop the knife and run! Calm down, Oh no that's scissors! hehe I know, stop drop and ROLLLLL? Nope that didn't work either! Hummmm now what! Well, call 911? nope, didn't put on make-up today would scare the daylights outta the cops or the firemen whoever would show up! Step away from the phone!

Hummm, run down the street screaming? Nope, new neighborhood, might scare them, thar she goes again, that krazy new neighbor, or they would watch laughing hysterically ! Hum, I give, go lay down and rest for a second........nope, that didn't work either! My air just got cut off! How about SCREAMINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! Yeah! helped a little! Mouth open, nothing coming out except fumes!

All I know is that THEY DON'T LIKE ME! Second time for this, this time was BAD or WORSE-R LOL than the first time, it was all in my head you see....the first time, I didn't believe it either , however, I did touch my face the last time (not this time) and the last time after my face caught fire (really? really!) it finally quieted down, and I was relieved of the face pain until I took the shower with the water and the water touched the face pain and oh WOW THAT was BAD! Did anyone tell ya it will FLAIR up again when WATER HITS it? So I was more careful this time you see, or so I thought, only just breathing did it! SO.....

SO my corn and black bean salsa will no longer have any hop-e-lenes in there ANYMORE! :) and THAT's the TRUTH! Everyone said be careful, so I thought, short of wearing rubber gloves, a breathing mask, a hoodie and sun glasses, well I thought I was covered, guess not! who knew!  The RANT is OVER! I am SO OVER JALAPENOS!  (Unless one can buy them already cut up at the market!) there will be no more in MY SALSA! Lesson learned! for the second time! :D

All of this under the careful eye of my Three Amigos! my little chihuahua brothers, who just looked at each other in amazement thinking Gee Mom we eat worse stuff than that, with no problems! Whats sup!

So my friends, I leave you today, pooped, red-eyed, tears still flowing a little, with breathing problems wishing you a great week! Me? I won't be in the kitchen anytime soon, the fumes are still hanging in there! I can SEE THEM! Oh wait a minute, I remember now, I can't see clearly just yet either!

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